There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize