I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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