Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
