It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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