3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
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