OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Randomize
