My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
