i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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