doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
