hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Randomize
