BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
