yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
