please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
