i barfeds in our rink
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
