I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
