There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
