Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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