I puked a lego.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I need moral support for this bender
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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