yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
