Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
