everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
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Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
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Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.