Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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