A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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