He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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