i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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