Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
