Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Randomize
