And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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