I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize