you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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