the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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