You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
