I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
