All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
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