So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
