things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Randomize
