You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
