I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
