She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
