Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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