do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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