i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
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How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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