Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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