haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
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