I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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