never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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