I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Randomize
