so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Boobs are out for the taking
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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