Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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