remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
