I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Randomize
