the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
