I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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