Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Randomize
