ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Randomize