Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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