speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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