i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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