is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
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