Soap is not a condiment
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
