Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
