I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
