in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
It's never too late to be topless.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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