yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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