halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
