I have surprise drugs for everyone
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
