Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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